Introductions

Introductions and Conclusions PowerPoint as a PDF file Download Introductions and Conclusions PowerPoint as a PDF file

This week's discussion of the five paragraph essay will look at specific techniques for creating good introductions, body paragraphs, and conclusions. Let's start with the introduction.

Remember that an introduction should have three main parts:

There are many ways to catch your reader's attention, but before we cover those techniques, we should discuss the approaches you need to avoid. 

BAD TECHNIQUES FOR THE INTRODUCTION - AVOID AT ALL COSTS!

• Don't "announce" your topic. Your essay should never include any version of the following phrase: "In this paper I will discuss..."
• Don't begin with Webster's Dictionary (or any other dictionary). The phrase "according to Webster's Dictionary" has been overused. Try to avoid other cliched phrases as well, such as "throughout human history" or "as everyone knows." Any statement that begins with those phrases is probably not true.
  
• Don't apologize or seem too humble. Avoid phrases such as "in my humble opinion" or "I may be wrong, but..." You don't want to make claims that you can't prove, but be assertive. This paper is about your viewpoint.
  
• Don't get off topic or ramble. Your hook should be related to your topic, and your reader should not be asking "What is the actual topic?" at the end of your introduction.

 

Now that you know what you shouldn't do, what should you do? Keep the following general rules in mind:

• Develop a strong working thesis first. If you know what your main idea is, then your introduction can clearly lead your reader to that idea. Otherwise, your introduction will seem to have several unrelated ideas and confuse the reader.
• Remember to use a hook. The first sentence of the introduction is your reader's first impression of your paper. If it's boring, you will immediately irritate your reader (*ahem*, your instructor).
• Write at least five sentences. This is my particular rule, but I believe it's a good rule of thumb for most introductions. It's difficult for most writers to catch a reader's attention, introduce a topic, and explain their viewpoint in less than five sentences. I will count off if your introduction is shorter than five sentences.
  
  

Methods for Creating a Hook - Read pages 34-35 in For Our Students

Most methods for creating a good hook use one of two basic approaches: introduce information or create a personal angle.

 

Introducing information often works best for papers that have a research component or that are trying to persuade readers to adopt one side of a controversial issue. This is not an absolute rule though. The most important factors are whether you can catch your reader's attention and lead him/her logically to the thesis statement.

• Use background information when your topic is about a public issue or event, or if your reader needs information to set up the rest of the essay. (Sources required if the information isn’t common knowledge)
  Ex: Texas’s first execution of a woman in twenty-two years occurred September 17 at the Huntsville Unit of the state’s Department of Corrections, despite the protests of various human rights groups around the country.
• Give a fact or statistic to emphasize the importance of your topic and establish credibility. (Sources required!)
  Ex: Between 1963 and 1993 there was a 26 percent increase in the number of college students who admitted copying academic work from another student (give citation here).
• Offer a surprising statement about your topic to pull readers into the subject. (Sources required if research used)
  Ex: Recent research has shown that the color pink has a calming effect on people (give citation here).
• Expose a contradiction between what people think is true and what is actually true. (Sources may be required) Read the introduction for the essay on page 87 for an example.
  Ex: Many people think that after the Declaration of Independence was signed in 1776, the colonists defeated the British army in battle after battle. The truth is that the colonial army lost most of its battles.

Creating a personal angle can work for most essays, but it's usually best to avoid this approach when writing a formal research paper or a reading analysis. This method seems to be most effective when you're writing a reflection on your own life or some more general topic.

• Ask a question to peak curiosity or to speak directly to the reader. (Only use “you” in process essays!) See p. 41 for an example in an essay.
  Ex: What was it like to live through the Holocaust?
  Ex: How would you handle a crisis situation?
• Offer a personal definition to let readers know you want to analyze an idea or issue closely. Personal definitions help you avoid the "Webster's" problem of being too cliche. See p. 130 for an example in an essay.
  Ex: Success is not just a matter of making money. It’s really about having the right priorities in life.
• A quotation interests readers by offering a profound or provoking idea. You can then expand or contradict that idea. 
  Ex: “The rich are different,” F. Scott Fitzgerald said more than seventy years ago. Apparently, they still are.
• An anecdote (brief story) puts a human face on a topic. If the story is from your life, it shows the reader why the issue is important to you.
  Ex: I used to believe that it was possible to stop smoking by simply quitting cold turkey. When I tried this approach, I soon realized that quitting was not so simple. 

Transition Sentences and the Thesis

• expanding the lead-in
• commenting on the lead-in
• contradicting the lead-in

 

Example Introductions

*The hook is in green, the transition sentences are in orange, and the thesis is in purple.
*These introductions are a little shorter than I would normally require because I had to fit them on a PowerPoint. I still want at least five sentences on your introductions!

Asking a question

     Whenever I tell other students that I plan to become a teacher, I’m always met with the same response: “Why?”. As an English major, I could find plenty of jobs that pay better and have shorter hours. However, what these other jobs can’t give me is an opportunity to pass along my love for literature, to work with young people, and to serve the community. Because a teacher can have such a positive impact, I believe teaching is the best career for me.

 

A fact/statistic and a question

     According to the National Commission on Teaching and America’s future, fifty percent of new teachers quit within five years (add citation here). Who can blame them? For most, the hours are long, the pay is low, and the community is unsupportive. However, there are many rewards to teaching as well. Because a teacher can have such a positive impact on her students’ lives, I believe teaching is the best career for me.

A quotation

     As the educator Mark van Doren notes, “The art of teaching is the art of assisting discovery.” It is this chance to “assist discovery” that sparked my interest in teaching. Education majors can’t look forward to high pay or short hours. However, they can look forward to helping students find their interests, learn the skills they need to develop those interests, and appreciate the value of hard work. Because a teacher can have such a positive impact on her students’ lives, I believe teaching is the best career for me.

An anecdote

     I never wanted to be a teacher until I met Jason. He had come from a bad school district and was far behind in English, so I began tutoring him for extra money after school. He was so determined to catch up that I found myself staying late every session and constantly thinking of new ways to explain the material. When Jason passed with a B, I knew I had found my calling. This experience proved to me that teaching offered everything I considered important in a career: the challenge of using my creativity, the chance to share my love of literature, and the opportunity to change people’s lives for the better.