Thesis Statements

This document was originally created by Tammy McPherson, Hinds English Instructor.

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Refer to pages 32-34 in For Our Students

A thesis statement is the backbone of a paper. It is the thread that runs through the entire discussion and what ties that whole discussion together. Without it, all you have is a collection of paragraphs that happen to be typed next to each other. BEFORE you begin writing the paper, or even the outline, you need to have an idea of what this sentence will be. A working thesis will help you focus your thoughts, and can be changed at any time, so long as you make the necessary changes to your outline and paper as well. It’s a lot easier to develop a working thesis, and then a final thesis and an outline together, than it is to write a paper without that focus and find that the paper has to be entirely rewritten. A thesis sets up an expectation in the reader; the paper should follow through with that expectation.

Just like any other writing device, there is no set rule about where the thesis should appear, or even if it has to be directly stated in the paper. For this class, you are required to have a stated thesis at or near the end of your introduction. It should be the ONE SENTENCE that the rest of your paper supports. I have received many papers with acceptable thesis statements and acceptable development that were not acceptable papers. Why? If the paper does not actually develop the idea expressed in the thesis, no matter how well it does discuss something, the paper hasn’t done what it is supposed to do.

Below are some more specific qualities of thesis statements. Be sure to use this list and the discussion in the book as a checklist to determine if your thesis is acceptable.

1. A thesis statement is a single sentence which usually appears at or near the end of the introduction.

Acceptable: The best vacations are educational.

2. The thesis is a statement of the main idea of the paper; it focuses the discussion on a single, specific idea.

Unacceptable: There are many problems on the Raymond campus. (Way too broad for the reader to get a clear picture)

Acceptable: More parking should be made available to students at HCC-Raymond.

3. The thesis should be a simple sentence or a complex sentence, but not a compound sentence (a compound sentence is what could be two sentences that have been joined together). For a detailed explanation of sentence types, try these resources:

Unacceptable: There should be more parking for students at HCC, and the parking lot lights need to be brighter. (Two separate main points when there should only be one)

4. The thesis should be a statement that can be supported logically in the paper.
Unacceptable: No one knows how much money the government wastes every year. (Huh? To support this you would have to find out how much money the government wastes and then show know one, even you, knows it.)

Acceptable: The government spends too much money on office equipment.

5. The thesis may present a specific number of points to be discussed in the order they are to be dealt with in the paper. (Refer to the section on the three-point thesis on page 33.)

Acceptable: The three main reasons teenagers drink are peer pressure, depression, and boredom.

6. The thesis should restrict the paper to one unified subject that can be covered within the length of the paper.

Unacceptable: There are many problems in public education in the United States.

Acceptable: Classes in public schools contain too many students for proper learning.

7. The thesis should be clearly worded; avoid general words and figures of speech.

Unacceptable: Tom failed high school because most days he was high as a kite.

Acceptable: Tom failed high school because he had a drug problem.

8. The thesis should be an objective statement that avoids emotional language.

Unacceptable: Pro-choice advocates are bound for hell.

Acceptable: Abortion should be illegal.

9. The thesis should not be an obvious statement of fact.

Unacceptable: Ronald Reagan was a popular president. (You are popular or you are not; there is no point to be supported here, only information to present.)

Acceptable: Ronald Reagan had an effective domestic policy.

10. The thesis cannot be phrased as a question. It should take a stand, not ask the readers to do it.

Unacceptable: How can parents help their children appreciate music?

Acceptable: Parents can help their children appreciate music by exposing it to them when they are young, encouraging them to learn to play an instrument, and attending musical events with them.

11. The thesis should not be a statement of intent that announces the purpose of the paper with phrasing such as “The purpose of this paper is…” or “In this paper I will…” Actually, there is no place for this anywhere in your paper.

Unacceptable: I would like to talk about the reasons why someone should attend HCC.

Acceptable: Students should choose to attend HCC because of the cost, classes, and counseling.

12. Avoid thesis statements which indicate an equal discussion of two sides of an issue; take a stand on one side or the other.

Unacceptable: There are good and bad points to working at McDonald’s.

Acceptable: Although there are bad points to working at McDonald’s, it is a good first job for teenagers to have.